Customer Service Food Intollerence Fails.

To put this into context I eat some wheat, gluten and dairy but as a concession to the rule and only for a meal which is a treat occasionally. On a daily basis I really try to avoid them but it’s not always easy when other people are involved.

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Going nuts in Tesco

Me: Would you check if those wasabi coated nuts behind the counter have wheat in them, please.

Shop assistant scans them and puts them in my bag!?

Me: Excuse me I only asked you a question about them!

Shop Assistant (taking them back out): Why?

Me (taking a deep breath and speaking slowly): Can you check that they don’t have wheat in them please?

Shop Assistant (speaking even slower) These. Are. Nuts.

I take the bag off him.

Me: Here, it’s the first thing on the ingredients list!

Shop Assistant (optimistically): So now do you want them?

Me (trying not to loose my shit): No I have a food intolerance to it.

Shop Assistant looks at me like I’m (wasabi coated) nuts.

Local Shop Which Tries To Up-sell People Random Stuff

I put the glue I’m purchasing on the counter.

Shop Assistant: You buy Nutella!

Me: Excuse me?

Shop Assistant: You are girl, all girls like Nutella.

Me: I have a food intolerance to milk.

Shop Assistant: No, no milk.

Me: It’s ‘milk’ chocolate!

Shop Assistant: No, no – no milk, you buy now?

Me: IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL ILL! Goodbye!

Shop Assistant’s Wife freaks out at him in Indian.

The Flattering But Confused Deli Assistant 

Shop Assistant: Hello!

Me: Hello! Can I get the falafel with humous and salad in a tray please, without the pitta. I’m wheat and dairy intolerant so trying to cut down. Thanks.

Shop Assistant: Oh you are so slim!

Me (blushing and puzzled): Oh, erm thank you.

Shop Assistant serves me with my order including some extras and then smothers it all in yoghurt sauce.

I grit my teeth, thank her with a smile and leave.

Asda

Me: Do you know if you have any gluten free soy sauce in the free-from…..

Shop Assistant sprints off and shouts at me to follow.

Shop Assistant: Here is the soy sauce.

Me: I was trying to say, maybe in the free from isle? I have an intolerance to gluten which is why I’m asking.

Shop Assistant: It’s just sauce.

Me: Well, yes but 90% of the popular brands I’ve seen contain gluten though.

Shop Assistant (frowns and thinks for a moment): Oh right! Is it fish then?

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I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to have severe allergies – although when I’ve used the word ‘allergy’ instead, most people seem to understand the concept. I do think the term ‘food intolerance’ needs to be used though so people get more used to hearing it.

Chrissie xx

3 thoughts on “Customer Service Food Intollerence Fails.

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