When People Don’t or Won’t Acknowledge Your Condition

Recently I was almost in tears because someone got annoyed with me for letting them down because I had chronic fatigue.

This wasn’t a distant friend or someone who needed my help, this was a professional person who helps people to relax for a living.

I had utterly forgotten a previous appointment despite putting it on three calendars because I forgot to set up an alert on my phone. The person is self employed and had paid to hire the treatment room so I felt incredibly guilty. I apologised profusely and re-arranged. I did mention to them that I have serious memory issues due to a condition that I have but was genuinely trying to explain rather than use it as an excuse.

The day of the re-arranged appointment came and I can honestly say my body had fatigue-cartoonnever felt more fatigued, more wobbly and more tense ever in my life before. It was actually scary. I had to have the bloke support me on the way to the bathroom as I literally couldn’t walk.

The phone rung and it was the lady checking if I was still on for the appointment. I told her I was just about to phone her and she’d beaten me to it by a few seconds.

I apologised that I couldn’t possibly make it and then explained my MS and my extreme fatigue. Her reply was that I should have arranged it for a day when I knew I could make it. What? I explained again that my MS fatigue and dizziness is random and unpredictable and again said I was so very sorry. I offered to pay the money she put down to book the treatment room. Again she asked why I’d booked it if I thought I’d be sick. At this point my anxiety was really kicking in and my voice as well sounding faint and utterly exhausted was now getting ever so slightly wobbly with emotion. I said to her “Honestly, I wish I knew when I was going to feel like this.”

AND THEN SHE HUNG UP THE PHONE ON ME.

Now the fact that she uses a ‘treatment’ room and works in a holistic and generally caring profession should mean something here, surely? Yes, this occupation can just involve basic relaxation but there is a great amount of technical ability too which can help to repair the body and relieve chronic pain and stiffness, which is why a lot of people with on going conditions choose these kind of treatments.

I’ve known three people over the years who are of the same occupation and each one would be completely understanding if someone cancelled due to a condition. They would be sympathetic, even if they didn’t completely understand the condition and they absolutely would not ignore what the person was telling them and then make them feel even worse! I’m I wrong to find this utterly un-proffessional? Especially when I’d offered to pay her room rent, when I was well again and could drop by with the money.

My Dad said something very poignant when I told him. “I’m afraid love you will have to get used to people not understanding your condition even when you’ve explained it, or them choosing not to understand simply because it inconveniences them.”

Unfortunately I know he’s right :o(

Have you ever had any experiences like this?

Chrissie xx

11 thoughts on “When People Don’t or Won’t Acknowledge Your Condition

  1. Unfortunately she wasn’t listening. She was thinking about herself and nothing you said would of made a difference. If you had fought through it and gone you would of only made yourself worse. I have a knee condition and they wanted me to go to hydrotherapy. Sounds fantastic but no chance. I ended up having to cancel. Now I am going to have problems ever getting treatment for the condition on the NHS because my Cfs was playing up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think you are right. She did further actions of ignorance (which I won’t go into) a little while after which made me realise this. That’s awful that you had to cancel and now they don’t think you’re taking it seriously. Hydrotherapy sounds wonderful for knee problems ( have hyper mobile knee joints which can become painful, so might ask for it actually) but totally understandable if you can’t go for the treatment because of the thing you need the treatment for some times – so obvious in fact! Keep ploughing on though with various stuff and don’t give up!

      Like

  2. OMG, I would have gone to the appointment JUST to throat punch that bitch. What a fucking cunt! Excuse my language, but being someone who suffers from chronic illness as well, I understand the frustration and hurt involved when people, especially people you EXPECT it from, REFUSE to understand your conditions. I would seriously have lost my shit on her and ripped her a new asshole. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I wish I could beat this bitch’s ass for you. *HUGE LOVING HUGS*

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was to exhausted to feel anything but upset to be honest. My boyfriend who was listening in on the conversation got angry for me and actually told to stop apologising continually and gave me a hug while I was on the phone with her.

      She was so polite but totally polite and totally refusing to care it would seem, just bothered I hadn’t “Booked it for a good day.”

      Like

    • I should say something about your language and shit but whatever. I never kick-off with people as I have a very short temper these days (after dealing with dyspraxia, MS, the benefits agency, rubbish therapists call centres, so called specialists and Dr’s not having a clue, trying to get on the council housing list with my illness prioritised and believed) and so I try to rise above people’s attitudes instead – whilst having a really good rant on here!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I can relate to this. I get misunderstood a lot. I have certain conditions that affect my life drastically, but because I appear “normal,” people expect a lot from me. If I can’t live up to their expectations, they see it either as a character flaw or as me deliberately being difficult. It’s hard enough dealing with certain challenges without other people’s annoyance and disapproval being heaped on top.

    Like

    • I expect I’m going to have to increasingly deal with situations like this more and more unfortunately. Like when disabled people park in an allocated spot and then ignorant people leave a message on their windscreen asking where their wheelchair is. Sigh. I get dirty looks off people sometimes thinking I’m drunk – not quite sure how I feel about that yet lol

      Like

Leave a comment, I love reading your opinions!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s