Recently I was almost in tears because someone got annoyed with me for letting them down because I had chronic fatigue.
This wasn’t a distant friend or someone who needed my help, this was a professional person who helps people to relax for a living.
I had utterly forgotten a previous appointment despite putting it on three calendars because I forgot to set up an alert on my phone. The person is self employed and had paid to hire the treatment room so I felt incredibly guilty. I apologised profusely and re-arranged. I did mention to them that I have serious memory issues due to a condition that I have but was genuinely trying to explain rather than use it as an excuse.
The day of the re-arranged appointment came and I can honestly say my body had never felt more fatigued, more wobbly and more tense ever in my life before. It was actually scary. I had to have the bloke support me on the way to the bathroom as I literally couldn’t walk.
The phone rung and it was the lady checking if I was still on for the appointment. I told her I was just about to phone her and she’d beaten me to it by a few seconds.
I apologised that I couldn’t possibly make it and then explained my MS and my extreme fatigue. Her reply was that I should have arranged it for a day when I knew I could make it. What? I explained again that my MS fatigue and dizziness is random and unpredictable and again said I was so very sorry. I offered to pay the money she put down to book the treatment room. Again she asked why I’d booked it if I thought I’d be sick. At this point my anxiety was really kicking in and my voice as well sounding faint and utterly exhausted was now getting ever so slightly wobbly with emotion. I said to her “Honestly, I wish I knew when I was going to feel like this.”
AND THEN SHE HUNG UP THE PHONE ON ME.
Now the fact that she uses a ‘treatment’ room and works in a holistic and generally caring profession should mean something here, surely? Yes, this occupation can just involve basic relaxation but there is a great amount of technical ability too which can help to repair the body and relieve chronic pain and stiffness, which is why a lot of people with on going conditions choose these kind of treatments.
I’ve known three people over the years who are of the same occupation and each one would be completely understanding if someone cancelled due to a condition. They would be sympathetic, even if they didn’t completely understand the condition and they absolutely would not ignore what the person was telling them and then make them feel even worse! I’m I wrong to find this utterly un-proffessional? Especially when I’d offered to pay her room rent, when I was well again and could drop by with the money.
My Dad said something very poignant when I told him. “I’m afraid love you will have to get used to people not understanding your condition even when you’ve explained it, or them choosing not to understand simply because it inconveniences them.”
Unfortunately I know he’s right :o(
Have you ever had any experiences like this?