Since this year started I’ve been feeling like I’ve lost myself quite a lot and become too emotionally dependant on the bloke. He’s my best friend, he’s my partner, he picks me up when I feel down, he literally picks me up if I fall down. However, I’m not just half of him, I’m a whole me! When we row and he’s being a dick I’m utterly gutted, like
my the world has ended. Enough, get a grip woman!
I Want To Be These Things Again…
Independent, organised, focussed, ballsy, well presented in my grungy urban way and interesting. I’m still all of these things, there’s just not much evidence of it anymore! I’m striving to get myself back before I become a total co-dependant mard arse!
When I’m tired and/or fatigued it’s nice to stay in with the bloke to Netflix and chill.
When the weather is crappy it’s nice to stay in with the bloke or my folks and friends and Netflix and chill.
When it’s cold it’s easy to wander around the house in a belted Slanket and fluffy slippers – don’t judge until you try.
When I’m having a particularly bad memory and/or concentration day a fun thing can be a real task. That task can be a lot more difficult than anticipated and either exhausting, annoying or both.
What do I actually do? I’m not a parent or home owner or even renter, I just inhabit peoples spaces. I don’t have a pet or a job or anything to study. I’ve majorly lost the creative streak I’ve always naturally had. So what then? I blog therefor I am? *eyeroll*
Not wanting to quietly spend time by myself because the back room is too cold/dark/small/not containing anyone else.
I bought a Filofax organiser and I’m keeping track of absolutely everything in it, including my moods and lovely little things that have happened.
I bought novels of different genres and started reading a chapter or two of a book every night before bed. It’s such a nice change to not be staring at a screen for my entertainment.
I bought an anti-art journal with silly and creative prompts.
I’ve started using my own journal again to record memories and stick things in things like ticket stubs etc.
I’ve started doing my ‘daily’ exercises again and have a lot more energy as a result.
I’ve started choosing an outfit everyday, rather than just grabbing yesterday’s hoodie and tee off the chair.
I’ve been buying fresh flowers – they make me so happy!
I’ve been getting up earlier and getting some sunlight on my skin by going to the shops or for a walk.
I’ve finally started to use my Ninja Bullet for smoothies and not just because everyone said they wouldn’t store it unless I actually used it. I’ve not made a huge mess or dropped it or arsed it up in anyway!
I’ve got myself back on the council housing list and I’m actively bidding for flats.
I’ve had a huge sort through of my stuff and got rid of loads of books, DVD’s, random stationary and old beauty products and makeup, meaning there will be a lot less to pack when I move.
Daily Self Care To Do List
- Make bed
- Serum then facial oil
- Oil ends of Hair
- Check social media and Emails
- Quick Tidy and/or Clothes Washing
- Food Shop with an evening meal in mind, even if it’s a free-from ready meal.
- Spend a few hours alone at some point – voluntarily!
- Water Plants
- Fill in Journal/Organiser
- Check Calendar for any appointments the next day
- Cleanse and apply retinol face cream
I know it sounds so simple but it’s made such a difference in just a fortnight! Much better than wandering around aimlessly trying to be productive but feeling a little bewildered or sitting on my butt with my head in Facebook. I feel more energised, presentable and more like my old pre-Winter self again!
What have you got that motivates you to take care of yourself throughout the day, week or month?