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Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it….

When you have repeatedly explained your disability, symptoms and needs to someone, in every way you can think of and they still aren’t getting it.


I know it’s tempting to want to strangle them or head butt the desk repeatedly or scream – actually screaming into a pillow is very therapeutic – but eventually you will have to accept it and let it go for the sake of your mental health.

Not everyone’s empathy works in the same way. Some people will instantly get it (whether they have experienced it or not) simply by listening and taking the info on board. Some people need to have experienced something similar for themselves so they literally know what you mean. Others, because it is different to their experiences will never, ever be fully onboard. Even if you have gone through something and they were witnessing it, they still won’t have learned from that past experience.

Now, that’s not to say they don’t care and don’t want to understand. It is entirely possible for a person to sympathise, yet manage to say or do something ignorant and tactless purely by mistake.

I guess what I’m saying is don’t take it personally and don’t beat your head against a brick wall (metaphorically I mean) by thinking you can change someone like that and enlighten them. Some people are all ready at their maximum capacity for understanding and empathising.

Essentially at that point, it is up to them to get their own head around what you need and how you function. I’ve arrived at the conclusions at the start of this post. Trying to make someone understand, isn’t always worth your mental health or your relationship with them deteriorating. If they obviously care about you, sometimes you just have to accept that no matter how much they try, maybe they never will really get it and you have to be cool with that.


6 responses to “When People Still Don’t Get It After The 10,000 Time”

  1. Bizarre Brunette Avatar

    I myself have been trying to do more research on disabilities and how to make areas more friendly to disabled individuals. I think the more research able bodied people can do, the less you feel frustrated trying to explain it each and every time.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Vamp It Up Mcr (Chrissie) Avatar

      Yes, totally agree, shouldn’t be always up to the disabled person. I went to a gig where the fold out seats were as black as the floor and walls were painted. We were all having to feel for them and bumping into them, which ended up just being funny really and had us helping each other out but seriously though!?

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Vamp It Up Mcr (Chrissie) Avatar

      How do you go about that though, actually making areas better?


      1. Bizarre Brunette Avatar

        I have talked to people who run events and say “hey it would be great if, blah blah blah.” I am an able bodied person, but most of what I hear comes from someone who has a disability and I pass that along with where I see fit. Sometimes even using their social media page and DMing them?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. theunseasonedwag Avatar

    That’s a really interesting point! Sometimes we just have to keep calm & carry on because we know they don’t “get” it but, on the other hand, we know that none of it is said or done with intent 🙂 x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Vamp It Up Mcr (Chrissie) Avatar

      Exactly! I honestly do think they are doing their best, it just comes out wrong or they get one thing mixed up with another, then get frustrated and defensive. At least they trying!

      Liked by 1 person

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