Vamp It Up

The alternative blog for cruelty free skincare, veggie food and alt/geek culture

So this is me when I was about 21. I loved my cute outfit (still do) and took my figure for granted BUT I really disliked my natural looks. So I made myself look like this instead. 🥺

From bullying which started in nursery (nursery!) I was asked ‘What are you?!’ (meaning what mixture of races) and later told as a teen ‘You people aren’t welcome here’ by groups of adults on the street and teens quoting their parents.

THE MAKEOVER/OTHER So I straightened my natural dark, curly hair (and eventually put terrible yellow-blonde streaks in it); made my narrow mono-lid eyes look bigger by exaggerating my expression and clever makeup (which I’d reapply every hour); plucked my thick, dark eyebrows to nothing; contoured the crap out of my nose (obsessively checking it) and did this, frankly weird arse ‘smile’ so my lips looked thinner.

THE SAD THING IS, IT ACTUALLY WORKED! I got attention from white guys who only wanted one thing, often because they’d ‘never had a girl who’s exotic’ 😒🤮 African and Caribbean men said things like they were ‘proud’ to be with me as I had ‘lighter skin’ but they still thought I would be ‘acceptable’ to their family. 🙃🤯

AFTER QUITE A FEW YEARS several guys had asked why I wasn’t being my natural self and asked if I was ashamed of my heritage (still don’t know what it is to this day btw). I realised I was making myself MORE miserable by altering my natural appearance and I started questioning why I was doing this to myself?!

FINALLY I REALISED I’D RATHER BE LIKED BY FEW, FOR MY TRUE SELF, THAN LIKED (ONLY ON THE SURFACE) BY MANY.

TO EVERYONE READING THIS I promise you, you will find people who really appreciate you. More importantly, YOU need to appreciate you. 🤗

BUT if you have something that troubles you because it doesn’t seem to fit or doesn’t work well, I totally understand why you might want that particular thing altered a little. No judgment 💞

JUST PLEASE DON’T LOOSE YOUR WONDERFUL, INDIVIDUAL SELF.

💙Chrissie💙


2 responses to “We Are Meant To Look Individual”

  1. Bizarre Brunette Avatar

    I’m sorry that people were so cruel. I’m glad to see that you have come to a place of acceptance for yourself. I hope you’re well!

    Like

    1. Vamp It Up Mcr (Chrissie) Avatar

      Thanks hon, it really did eff me up from the age of five to fifteen BUT what helped was dealing it’s more systematic racism/colourism that some people actually believe (!!!), rather than it being personal against me. 💙

      Liked by 1 person

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