10 Positive Things My Disabilities Bring

If this list serves as ‘inspiration porn’ for someone, then frickin fantastic!

(there’s a full list of my disabilities and chronic illnesses at the bottom of this post)

  1. Being a very sensory person and also having a lot of extra movement in my hips and spine means I have natural rhythm to dance.
  2. My legs are surprisingly strong through them having to correct my balance constantly when I stand and walk. The Amazons have nothing on me lol
  3. I have a really fast metabolism which is great for never having to worry about getting overweight (just hangry) and it means I can totally justify ordering sides and desert. img_7655
  4. Being tall is handy to see where I’m meant to be going in a crowd. 5’8 is usually the same height as online clothing models so I know how clothes will fit me too.
  5. My immune system may attack me but cold and flu viruses beware, it’s effectively coming for you too!
  6. I struggle to keep up academically but I’ve always had loads of emotional intelligence. It helps me navigate social situations as I pick up on the subtext of what people are saying and doing. Thank goodness as I was way to too trusting!
  7. I have weirdly good balance and fine-motor skills if I really concentrate/hyperfocus
  8. Being hypermobile is really handy when trying to reach past a load of clutter or when something has rolled under furniture or for painting my toenails.
  9. I’ve gotten some interesting scars over the years from accidents but I also heal surprisingly quickly.
  10. Feeling different to everyone for numerous physical, sensory, neurological and emotional reasons that you don’t understand, makes you feel like a total freak at first but later helps you to understand and love your true, individual bad-ass self.
  • 🖤✨Chrissie✨🖤

    Note: Incase you wondering, the disabilities chronic illnesses I have are: Demyelination (usually as a result of Multiple Soroses ), Dyspraxia (effecting mental and physical cognitive skills but not intelligence; Neurological in nature), Aspergers (again not a mental-health issue just Neurologically diverse), Sensory Processing Disorder (imagine most of your senses are dialled up to 11; relating to Aspergers and Dyspraxia), allergies/food intolerances, PCOS (suspected by GP’s), Hyperthyroidism, Hypermobilty Syndrome (too loose/stretchy joints, ligaments, soft tissue, digestive issues). These all have the symptoms of chronic fatigue/brain fog in common.

    Selfcare To Do List (a fun one)

    I thought I’d bump up this post as it is a Sunday – probably the best selfcare day of the week, if you don’t have the time or energy to do everything, every day.

    It’s so easy to let small habits slide when we are busy, tired and/or ill but it’s those small things that, when added together make such a big difference to our emotional and physical wellbeing.

    Here’s my handy list of things that I do, some of which are fun, some are simple but make such a big difference and some are selfless but not really because, let’s be honest, it feels nice to be nice. ^_^

    Daily

    Drink water, probably should drink a bit more

    Take meds/vits

    Coffee or Protein Smoothie (which still contains coffee)

    Eat x3 (preferably not all at once toward the evening!)

    Lip balm

    Facial Serum/Oil

    Fix hair (combing the beast totally counts)

    Wear at least one thing I really like such as earrings, pointy boots, mascara or a sparkly pin.

    Record one thing which made me happy/grateful that day, either on Instagram or happiness journal.

    Take at least 30 minutes to myself with no interruptions if needed.

    Drink some coconut water or aloe vera for the easily absorbed electrolytes.

    Get off my ass and volunteer to make a brew/take empty plates into kitchen etc. x3

    Gentle stretching/balance/co-ordination (whisper it) exercises

    Weekly

    Treat myself to any food I like

    Have an evening totally to myself

    Read part of novel (C,mon you have seven days to choose from, seven!)

    Watch trashy TV shows that make me smile or laugh

    Herd caterpillar (pluck eyebrow/s)

    Pet or feed a cute animal (caterpillar does not count)

    Some kind of grocery shopping OUTSIDE (yes, that place where there is sunlight and air)

    Facemask/facepack/natural skin peel

    Do a good deed

    Blog/comment on other blogs

    Do a load of washing

    Iron (bahahaahaaaahaa!)

    Hug or at least phone my Dad

    Exercise on cross trainer

    Get tipsy

    (important to get the latter two in the right order)

    Monthly

    Go out for a fancy meal

    Have a completely needless but totally indulgent bubble bath

    Check bank statements (for possible beer induced purchases)

    Trim hair-canopy back to recognisable fringe/bangs

    Monthly round-up on my blog/Instagram

    Drop that item off at the charity shop/food bank in supermarket

    Watch a film I love

    Have fresh flowers in the living room

    Chrissie

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    15 Reasons To Love Winter!

    1. Extra large Mochas with hazelnut, ginger bread, pumpkin spice, fudge, salted caramel, basically anything that makes it taste like desert.
    2. An excuse to buy a whole new wardrobe of clothes – well, half at least.
    3. Easy-to-wear long cardigans with sleeves that your hands disappear into. Being able to wear your adorkable jumper/beanie/mittens with pride.
    4. Cozy pubs who are finnally bothering to light their traditional wood or log fires.
    5. A full Sunday roast (nut roast, please!)  is even more welcoming after coming in from the cold!P1060281
    6. Snow!
    7. No longer having to refrigerate left overs with military timing.
    8. Snuggling up to your man or your pet.
    9. Long, hot bubble baths with candles and a good book.
    10. Hair looking relaxed because it’s not being tormented by humidity.
    11. The sky is beautifully dramatic and now your Insta feed is to.
    12. If you’ve run out of milk in the morning you can sneak to the local shops in your PJ’s because your duvet-like coat is so long that no one will notice.
    13. New hearty seasonal menus at your favourite restaurant.
    14. Snowball fights. It’s amazing how quickly you warm up after a few minutes of dodging snowballs to the face!
    15. Ice skating or the chance to watch others try, while you sit with a mug of hot choccy.

    Let me know what you like about winter, have I missed anything?

    Chrissie

    Learning To Recognise & Truly Feel ALL Of My Emotions

    I’m typing this tipsy – not because alcohol is my essential coping mechanism or because it’s fun to obliterate a bad memory or feeling but because I simply enjoy getting rather tipsy. Four years ago and for the first time in my life I learned to drink for fun. We all naturally lean toward some kind of copying mechanisms whether it be demolishing a big block of chocolate, shopping for yet more things we don’t need or fishing that packet of fags out of the bin that we said we’d quit. It could even be by being overly bossy and controlling of people or situations.

    From age 13 I made it my aim to drink a litre of strong white cider every Friday. That was my day which kept me going through a week of repressing my feelings. That was when I stupidly thought that I could really feel my emotions and let loose. I was doing that but I wasn’t processing them or understand them unfortunately. It was more “Let’s have a laugh and forget about all of the crap – woo whoo!”

    Forward a year age 14 and now I’m on to drinking quart bottles of vodka because the cider just isn’t doing it for me anymore. I have to drink it quickly because it has to take effect but then I have to sober up somewhat because I need to get the bus home at at 10.00pm.

    I realise now I was always blocking out negative comments from others, negative feelings about myself and generally not allowing myself to feel. Maybe I naturally felt too much as a kid and decided it was sort of scary. Maybe I was made to feel by a relative that someone else was in greater emotional distress so I was to play down any anxieties as if they were of less importance. Maybe I felt I always had to be in control so that I didn’t cause a scene.

    Basically the reason doesn’t really matter. It was the fact that by my teens I would do anything before I would actually feel anything. By my early 20’s it was cigarettes for when I was stressed. Sex for when I wasn’t feeling in control (“well I’ll soon change that!”), beer to let my ‘real’ personality out (witty but pretty wild) and dancing while loosing time in alcoholic oblivion so that all I was thinking about was the beat and the base.

    What happens when the club shuts, you’re on your own, you’ve run out of booze and fags and you’re starting to feel again? I mean you are sobering up and that uneasy, lost, bewildered feeling is starting to creep back in.

    Luckily by my late 20’s I had The Bloke. He ‘left me’ to go to the 24/7 supermarket, he hadn’t dumped me in the way that I misunderstood. Afterward he scrapped me off the floor and basically rescued the sweet, kind, closed off, bitchy block of stone that he’d been going out with for 3 months.

    That’s when I learned to actually feel my emotions again.

    I say feel – not deal with. Two very different things those.

    I was raw and adorably childlike yet frustratingly childish in my neediness.

    It was a long difficult road but fast forward 5 years and I like embracing my emotions now. Emotions fill us with joy or sadness. It doesn’t matter – what matters is that we have them and we should embrace them as that’s how we can learn to cope with them – even appreciate them.

    Now I’m in my mid 30’s I don’t automatically decline a hug when I’m sad because “I’ll loose it and start crying” because that’s ok. I don’t have this awkward pretend empathy because I don’t know how it feels to go through a particular emotion. I don’t have a silent rage inside of me anymore or a feeling of unjustness that I need to burry.

    I feel everything and it’s freaking fantastic – even the really crappy bits.

    Guess what? I’ve lost control quite a bit and done some ugly crying (you’re crying for god sake, who cares whether you look pretty) and I’ve had mini emotional meltdowns where it’s all felt too intense. Embracing your emotions really takes some getting used to! However, I’ve not completely fell apart. I’ve not been disowned by everyone (one person yes, but that says more about them than me).

    Even if I was left with no one and had to start all over again it would have been the right choice. NEVER EVER FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD BURRY YOUR FEELINGS DEEP INSIDE. We are humans. We need to feel. This is what separates us from robots. It’s what makes us truly unique. It’s okay to cry and let it out. You don’t need to be ashamed of this either. If you learn to feel then you learn to accept those feelings and you learn to cope with them over time. They are part of you. The joy and the despair – it’s all you. It’s what makes you you.

    Love and giant bear hugs.

    Chrissie xx

    P.S. A few days later – I learned some rather alarming news about my health in a series of letters from my Neurologist to my Dr that I’d requested (for ATOS) and I looked up the three (yes three) conditions online on very specific professional sites . What I found out really worried me but I was busy reading the specifics of each one and the fact that one is very rare and I couldn’t find a reason for the other erm..Then I found that two conditions can at least be slowed down by drugs – phew! Then I was late and had to rush. I didn’t process it properly and spent the next few hours calmly explaining it my loved ones and looking on the bright side. Then A couple of days later I burst out sobbing for around three hours because what the bloody hell this is some seriously scary shit! It was classic – I did exactly what I warned everyone against. I guess it’s hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes. So yeah, I need to head the advice I’ve written above a lot more basically.