How Depression Crept Up on Me and Advice

This time two years ago I posted the photo below to Instagram and said I was having a girly-night to myself and made it sound so positive.

What I didn’t say was that I’d had to go on Just Eat to find somewhere local which sold food and beer/wine because it felt like an overwhelming physical AND mental impossibility to go to the local shops. I was so hungry and really needed something to cheer myself up too.

I’d gotten into the habit of not getting (dragging myself) out of bed until 4.00pm (sadly after it had gone dark) so I hadn’t seen daylight for five days. I’d stopped being bothered to get dressed or comb my wildly frizzy hair or to tidy up.

The bloke had to be elsewhere and he was so stressed and busy he really needed to get on with it and I was trying to be as supportive as poss. But I was on my own all week, until weekend and felt really lonely. But I also felt guilty and silly bothering him.

I realise looking back that the Depression had crept back but at the time I was kidding myself that I was having fun enjoying not having any responsibilities or structure.

Ironically that is exactly what helps me, as it stops the endless days and nights all blending together. Plus someone to bounce my thoughts off so they aren’t swimming around in my head and growing more negative and repetitive is vital for me.

I wish I’d put an honest caption on Insta about how I was feeling at the time or told my Dad or my bloke how I felt. BUT I’d been fighting for decades to have my disabilities and chronic illness recognised and to get on ESA benefit so I could rest at home all day. I felt guilty that I wasn’t now happy and thought I must be being ungrateful or overly-dramatic. But actually, when you can’t or aren’t doing much, whole days and nights alone can seem like an eternity.

After doing this on repeat for about a month (literally just living for the weekend when my bloke would be able to come back basically) I phoned him in floods of tears.

We talked for an hour and worked out a better way of doing things and it made a vast amount of difference to my mental health.

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There isn’t always a reason though. Sometimes clinical depression can hit you for no reason at all and that’s perfectly normal, not your fault and just as valid.

If you are feeling crappy or apathetic to stuff you normally love doing or are struggling to keep your head above water, please don’t fool yourself you are ‘fine’. Admit to yourself that you aren’t feeling okay and then tell someone else, even if it’s just one other person (i.e. a considerate family member, a friend, an empathetic friend of a friend or your GP for instance) IRL or online.

You don’t have to be fine all of the time and forcing yourself to try can do more damage than good. Being open and honest about your feelings can lift a huge weight.

It’s ok not to be ok 🙃

✨✨🖤Chrissie🖤✨✨

Gluten Free (English) Pancakes

I call these English pancakes because they are thicker than French crapes but no where near as thick as bread-like Scotch or US pancakes.

Ingredients for gluten free pancakes is equal amounts of

Eggs

Milk

Cornflower – you will need to keep slowly adding more cornflower and blending until you get your desired consistency.

Top with masses of sugar and lemon juice.

Here’s The Bloke being a right tosser. 😉 I managed one perfect flip and then tossed the second one so enthusiastically, it landed on the floor – on the other side of the kitchen! 🤣

Hope you have a flipping good time!

🖤✨Chrissie✨🖤

Back In The Day… Forward To The Future

When was the last time you went on a night out or went out for a meal etc and where did you go?

We had excellent beer and veggie food at Bundobust bar four months ago, four! 🤯 That’s the reason I’ve put a sepia tinged filter on this photo lol 📽

What are you looking forward to doing when this is all over eventually?

We are looking forward to going on a short holiday to pretty town that’s surrounded by countryside, like Ross On Wye.

✨✨🖤Chrissie🖤✨✨

The Hip Hop Chip Shop at The Carlton Club, Manchester

The Hip-Hop Chip Shop has gone mobile! They are parked throughout February at The Carlton Club in Whalley Range, Manchester.

We decided to book on their pop-up website (which I now think is mostly booked up) to make it easier ordering food from their pop-up van. You can visit the van but you might have a bit of wait so (as they advise) wrap up warm!

This is the Vegangstarr Sausage Meal

Skin-on chips; Mushy Peas; Battered Sausage and Tartare Sauce; with a side of Battered pickled gherkins and a Chocolate Brownie by Lush Brownies (Chortlon) for desert.

They also have a battered halloumi meal if that’s more your deal.

The fact that people peel potatoes when making chips now amazes me. Battered gherkins have some real bite to them in texture and flavour. The inside of the sausage has a soft consistency like sweet potato pakora but it tastes exactly like a chippy sausage – whaat?! The choccy brownie is perfection.

FYI This is enough food to last me for my tea tonight and breakfast and dinner tomorrow.

✨✨🖤Chrissie🖤✨✨

Really Easy Way to Make: Dairy-free, Gluten-free Mac n’ Cheese

Hi lovely people!

I was having a very Dyspraxic day (knocking everything over/dropping everything/getting stuff tangled up/bumping into stuff/tripping up/behaving more drunk than when I’m actually drunk!) so upon arrival to his flat, my Bloke surprised me with (gluten free, dairy free) Mac n’ Cheese to cheer me up.

Ingredients:

Any own brand Free-From (gf) Pasta

@freeandeasyfoods (df) Cheese Flavour Sauce

Rice or Oat Milk

1 heaped tbl spn Nutritional Yeast

A pinch of Garlic salt and Pepper

Nommm 😋

✨✨🖤Chrissie🖤✨✨

Outfit Inspiration Needed! Can You Help Me?

💡I need outfit ideas!💡

I spontaneously dropped quite a bit of dosh (a rare thing for me) on these Docs ages ago but I have no idea what to wear them with with!

Some suggestions have been a) 80’s Hair-metal b) 90’s Girly grunge/Riot Grrrl teaming them with a floaty short dress c) Sexy grunge teaming them with a leather/denim mini or skinny jeans, which I guess plays into suggestion a.

Any ideas or comments, lovely people?

✨✨🖤Chrissie🖤✨✨

7 of the Best Tinted Lipbalms and Lip Oils

Fruu Colour Balm in Peach Perfect £5.00

This has quite a thick consistency but still glides on easily. Soothing Aloe and Banana extracts. Good colour payoff but I should have chosen Cherry as it’s too pale for me. My lips are really happy with it and so is my purse!

Organic / Vegan

Badger Lip Tint in Garnet £5.25

This doesn’t glide on easily but it is hydrating and moisturising with Shea Butter and Cocoa Butter. Sensibly priced for something you would use everyday. The Garnet shade would be a moody sort of nude for people with olive – darker skin tones.

BUAV (leaping bunny) approved cruelty free

Revolution London Good Vibes Lip Balm in Euphoria £5.00

Sadly, the colour of this balm is incredibly sheer. Not quite as long-lasting as some other lip balms but it is a very purse friendly fiver. Cannabis Sativa extract to soothes chapped lips.

Vegan

Glossier Mango Balm.com £10.00

Anyone else hate the title of this, just me?! The colour of this balm only shows up on the palest part of my wrist, it’s that sheer. It works wonders on dull, dry, dehydrated skin. I apply this on my lips, my cheekbones, the tip of my nose and my chin to instantly make me look fresh and awake too.

Paw Paw Rich Mocha Balm £3.95

A tube full of air! I was half way down the tube, squeezing with both hands before any of it came out. I love the colour but it’s too thick to spread consistently. This felt great on my lips at first but when it wore off (rather quickly) my lips felt dryer than they were before!? More like lipstick than a balm. Contains active ingredients of Olive Oil, Paw Paw and Aloe.

Vegan

e.l.f. Mocha Kiss Lip Oil £7.00

This is like the lip gloss you’ve been dreaming off. Glides on easily, with a sheer but noticeable tint and shine. The Jojoba, apricot and Vit E ingredients stopped my lips from drying out.

Vegan

Lottie London Lip Oil in Extra Cherries £4.17

This oil (with Almond Oil with extracts of Cherry) works well and stays put, without feeling too thick or goopy. I love the retro packaging but sadly there isn’t any colour pay off, just a very subtle iridescent shine.

*In the above image I called this colour ‘Sugar’ by mistake*

Vegan

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Which one’s would you use? Do you have any recommendations?

✨✨🖤Chrissie🖤✨✨

Vegan and Cruelty free Winter Skincare Saviours

Hello lovely people! Between the wind, rain, cold and central heating it’s no wonder our skin can become sensitive, dehydrated and dry, or like mine, freak out and become oily and dry in different places.

Here are my winter skin saviours!

e.l.f. Holy Hydration Face Cream

A really light, easily absorbed daily moisturiser which can be layered with serums and balms. This moisturiser contains (plant based) Squalane to improve moisture balance and elasticity, Peptides to protect skin, B3 to brighten and even the complexion and Hyaluronic Acid to help the other ingredients sink deep into the skin.

UpCircle Organic Face Serum

This serum uses repurposed coffee extract, which is rich in antioxidants and rosehip and jojoba oils to brighten and care for dry, dehydrated skin. I apply this serum and before it sinks in completely I apply moisturiser, which helps the moisturiser to sink in easily. It does have a tiny tingly sensation at first but doesn’t make my skin flush or react.

Wild Tree Skincare Organic Body Scrub Melt

This has the most delicious chocolate scent! It also has the most amount of oil (cacao seed butter and Shea butter) and scrubby bits (cacao seed powder) in anything I’ve ever used before. It’s really easy to hold in your palm and one melt covered my whole body. I don’t think I’ll have dry skin again for the next year! Okay, a slight exaggeration there.

Lucky Cloud Soothing Super Balm

This balm contains Oat Oil, Evening Primrose Oil and Sweet Almond Oil to calm dry, sensitive, itchy skin. The Lavender and Geranium Oils also calm body and mind. It’s a little miracle in a pot!

Balade En Provence Solid Night Cream

I normally have very cold hands so I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to use this but it melted into my palms straight away! Containing Cocoa Butter and Apricot Kernel Oil, this cream is both hydrating and moisturising, without clogging pours or creating an oil slick on your pillow.

Quite the dream team and all plant based!

Feel free to Like, comment (ask questions), follow and share.

✨🖤✨Chrissie✨🖤✨

Bol Plant Based Dinner Boxes

Whilst shopping online at Tesco I stumbled across the Bol range of dinner boxes, which are plant based ready-meals in a cardboard tray (thankfully not plastic, which is a bit of a deal-breaker for me).

Fire Roasted Cauliflower-Tikka Masala

The Tika Masala wasn’t quite sweet enough and I had no idea where the ‘sweet pickled onions’ were!? I did really like the combination of ingredients though.

Caribbean Jerk, Rice and Peas

This tasted like it was homemade comfort food at its best.

Thai Panang Coconut Curry

I thought this contained too much lemongrass and citrus flavour and not enough coconut so I added two pinches of sugar. The butternut squash was cooked perfectly.

South Indian Spiced Chickpea Curry

Again, the flavour of citrus overwhelmed the other flavours, which I balanced by adding some sugar.

Overall

I noticed that every meal had a lot of ‘leafy greens’ in them, which I didn’t mind but it was rather repetitive.

I loved all of the chutneys and used them on the rice and greens. I don’t usually like quinoa but mixed with rice it tasted lovely.

I’d buy these again because they are a quick and simple way of getting vegetarian and dairy free, balanced meals for one, which I’d never be able to cook for my self.

Rating 4/5

✨🖤✨Chrissie✨🖤✨