When People Still Don’t Get It After The 10,000 Time

Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it….

When you have repeatedly explained your disability, symptoms and needs to someone, in every way you can think of and they still aren’t getting it.

Breathe….

I know it’s tempting to want to strangle them or head butt the desk repeatedly or scream – actually screaming into a pillow is very therapeutic – but eventually you will have to accept it and let it go for the sake of your mental health.

Not everyone’s empathy works in the same way. Some people will instantly get it (whether they have experienced it or not) simply by listening and taking the info on board. Some people need to have experienced something similar for themselves so they literally know what you mean. Others, because it is different to their experiences will never, ever be fully onboard. Even if you have gone through something and they were witnessing it, they still won’t have learned from that past experience.

Now, that’s not to say they don’t care and don’t want to understand. It is entirely possible for a person to sympathise, yet manage to say or do something ignorant and tactless purely by mistake.

I guess what I’m saying is don’t take it personally and don’t beat your head against a brick wall (metaphorically I mean) by thinking you can change someone like that and enlighten them. Some people are all ready at their maximum capacity for understanding and empathising.

Essentially at that point, it is up to them to get their own head around what you need and how you function. I’ve arrived at the conclusions at the start of this post. Trying to make someone understand, isn’t always worth your mental health or your relationship with them deteriorating. If they obviously care about you, sometimes you just have to accept that no matter how much they try, maybe they never will really get it and you have to be cool with that.

Chrissie

The Basic Skincare Regimen That’s Made a Huge Difference

The reason for my delicate snowflake skin

As a (sometimes) beauty blogger I used throw an awful lot of different brands and products at my skin; no wonder it was so confused! It would go from too oily to really dry within hours and sometimes it would be oily but dehydrated at the same time. I was also eating a lot of dairy (the reason for so many spots) and gluten (the reason for redness, water retention and inflammation). Nowadays I eat a mainly free-from diet with just one cheat day a week and stick to these gentle skincare items.

My skins needs

My face doesn’t seem to shed old skin cells very well, resulting in dullness, blocked pores and poor absorption of products so a frequent radiance peel is so helpful! Although I don’t have sensitive skin, it does still get red easily because of allergies or sudden temperature changes so products that are calming and balancing are also a must. I feel there’s room to fit in a pampering sheet mask as recommended by the awesome Hunida over at Hunida’s Blog or a pink clay mask to reduce my pores, once a week.

The wonder products!

B. Miceller Water to cleanse twice a day. The least drying and most effective cleanser/toner I’ve tried.

Murad Intensive Radiance Peel, twice a week. Gentle enough for my skin with natural acids.

Nip+Fab Hyaluronic acid everyday. Helps skin to absorb moisture from the atmosphere and my moisturiser.

Weleda Pomegranate Body Lotion, everyday. The naturally occurring Vit C in this calms redness and inflammation. It’s also so light but hydrating my face loves this as well as my body.

Weleda Pomegranate Body oil, everyday. This has totally rescued my pout from cracking in drying central heating. Vit C also helps to regulate sebum production.

What are your everyday must haves?

Chrissie

Mental Health Awareness Month Has Helped Me Admit To Having Anxiety For 37 Years!

img_6307

I thought I always felt anxious just because of life. From being a kid to a teen I was dealing with everyday racism; a family member with mental health probs where I’d get blamed for ‘setting them off’ to point where it was actually enabling them; it not being acknowledged by teachers or Drs that I had learning differences and was Neurodiverse; my Dyspraxia and Hypermobilty Syndrome were undiagnosed and symptoms ignored even after multiple GP visits; I totally failed both A-levels, because of other people’s errors/and then a huge chunk of my hard work work getting lost.

As an adult, when I’d go clubbing I’d either get totally ignored by blokes (even shoved out of the way) or they’d bluntly pursue me for one thing only. Such a head-fuck! In my second job a group of people who I thought were my friends were secretly excluding me from nights out and taking the piss behind my back for a year. Then in my very next job it happened all over again with three other ‘friends’ who, after six months started trying to manipulate and lie to me, like it was a game. I didn’t trust my own judgment or perspective on anything for several years afterward.

_________________

I’d managed to cope with the anxious feelings by talking to (actual) friends and doing lots of fun stuff (everything to the extreme) and pretending all of this was just average daily life. I was ignoring that many things were way more difficult for me to navigate than my friends, for so many reasons I couldn’t understand and that I really wasn’t ‘fine’. Not remotely. When I got overly emotional I blamed the beer I’d drank or that I was over tired. Then, when I finally got diagnosed with several chronic illnesses I was obviously relieved but understandably anxious too.

Basically, I thought it’s not the mental illness ‘Anxiety’ if I’ve always got a reason to feel anxious right? Wrong!

Now, for the past few months the fact I have and have always had anxiety has become so obvious to me, that I can’t ignore it anymore. I was so busy coping with other shit going on, oddly enough, the importance of my mental health got shuffled to the back of my mind. I’ve been having the same two upsetting dreams about being left behind or ignored; I’m stewing on negative thoughts that I can’t shake and over-thinking people’s actions; lately I’ve had a constant wobbly feeling in my tummy that either ruins my appetite or has me running to the loo because the food has flown right through me.

I realise this current anxiety is down to several situations that have all collided at once. It’s wildly skewing my perspective, making me needy and fearful and even effecting my decision making and actions. One of those things was being unable to bear going through five hours of being on my own with my wildly see-sawing thoughts, no matter how much I distracted my self with manicures, makeovers, films and ice cream, they’d creep back. It resulted in me (at least once a day) phoning and/or texting the one person I was meant to be giving a little space to, and yet somehow, never mentioning my anxiety to them. Not once.

________________

Hopefully now I’ve recognised all of this and having talked some of it through with that person, the anxiety will calm down a lot. They were patient and surprisingly empathetic. It turns out that they’ve had anxiety for years, over-thinking and worrying about me! Since the talk, I’ve already stopped having the dreams so that’s a lot less mentally exhausting. I also feel very relieved, although still a little uncertain. They’ve also said it’s a weight off their chest, just saying it out loud.

There are still some incredibly important things up in the air but only time – rather than numerous phone calls – will reveal how those will work out, so I’ll just have to wait. Gosh, I’m crap at waiting….

Chrissie

 

Why I think this £5 Lime Green, Snake Print Vest Will Suit Every Body Shape

I don’t always review single items of clothing, unless I’m really happy with them and want you to know about them too and I absolutely love this Lime Green, Snake Print Swing Vest £5 from George.

image1-2

How Summery is this!

image2-2

It’s such a bargain at £5 with adjustable straps, a soft jersey material that doesn’t feel like it will bobble, a decent length and a really flattering swing cut. Unusually for me, I got a size 10 as I knew it would fairly roomy from the reviews but they go up to size 24 (my Mum was a 20-22 and she always loved George clothing).

image3-1

This is me and my podge (after having four cans of non-gluten free larger the night before) and as you can see, when the vest isn’t pulled tight it just skims over it perfectly! I also have deep stretch marks above my boobs but by raising the straps slightly the neckline covers them, while still looking sexy.

This would be a great day-to-night top if you added gold statement earrings or bracelet and heels. My only niggle is that it’s more acid yellow then a true lime green but everything else about it makes up for that.

Chrissie

Oumph! Kebab Spiced

Oumph! Kebab Spiced strips really do taste like Greek or Turkish kebabs made with traditional spices.

I’ve used them to add texture and protein to a salad; I’ve had them in a wrap with fried onion, mushroom and bell pepper with a little yoghurt sauce and thinly sliced cucumber and as a simple burger replacement topped with melted cheese, tomato sauce and lettuce.

The first word that comes to mind when describing the texture is chewy. ‘Very resilient hot dog sausage’ is a fair comparison. Be aware that this does not change, no matter how much you fry them.

I love them for their authentic flavour, versatility and yes, even the texture. A girl can only eat tofu for so long without wanting a change.

Rating 5/5

Chrissie

How I’ve Decluttered My Wardrobes and Draws

I have two wardrobes and two sets of medium sized draws of clothes, with shoes in wheely-crates under my bed and tall boots in the corner. I also have a big draw in another room with seasonal blankets, slippers and dressing gowns. Thankfully, I sorted my extensive amount of jewellery and accessories a few weeks ago. Here are the categories I sorted everything into that got edited out of my wardrobes/draws.

 

 

Need to try these on to see if I’ve grown in or out of them

image3-1

2 bikinis, 2 shorts, 1 bra, 1 top.

To give to charity

image2-1

1 llama draft excluder, 2 bags, 1 pair shoes, 3 sarongs, 6 tops, 1 jacket, 1 earrings, 1 dressing gown (not shown).

Broken or worn out

image1-1

1 bag, 1 tracksters, 2 tops, 2 bras, 1 bikini.

FFS, get around to adjusting these or give them away, you lazy git!

image6-1.jpeg

Trousers and top with annoying flappy splits up the legs/arms.

I’ve grown out of this style but keeping for the sake of nostalgia

image4

And finally the ‘what the feck was I thinking buying shoes that would suit a Grandad playing lawn-bowls’ category.

image5

Conclusion

I’ve got some sowing to do.

I’ve got some trying on to do.

I’ve got to buy a long sleeved cardigan or shrug (do they even still do those?) to get the most out of strappy dresses and tops.

Apparently, I have a gorgeous hot pink Totes bag with shiny black trim!?

I have Spring/Summer and Autumn/Winter sides to my wardrobe now.

I’ve managed to eliminate 25 items! Seeing as every season I tend to give at least one thing to charity, I’m astonished there were that many things left, not earning their place.

I don’t have massive amounts of extra space but everything isn’t creased and crammed together anymore. I can find things easily without stressing. Everything is on appropriate hangers. Tall boots have rolled up magazines inside to support them. Bigger bags folded or rolled. There aren’t a mass of tangled hangers on the floor of my wardrobe with random stuff on top anymore.

I highly recommend doing this!

Chrissie

Note: The oddly proportioned lama mysteriously escaped the charity bag. Yay, giant lama cuddles!

Dying My Hair Peachy-Pink with Manic Panic!

image1-1

Does anyone remember ‘tiger stripes’ from the early 2000’s? Well I got a subtler version done as a base for my colour. My lovely hairdresser Maria informed me that the lighter you bleach your base, the lighter the colour will be, perfect for pastels. But if you want a more vibrant colour then leave your hair a rich gold tone to give your colour more depth. I got a few inches cut off too.

image2-1

I used Tish & Snooky’s Manic Panic semi-permanent colour in Pretty Flamingo, a pinky-peach, to colour some streaks but not others creating an effect like a Fruit Salad sweet. I’ve always wanted hair like that since being a kid! Now my hair has gotten naturally lighter I thought I should go for it.

https---www.handycandy.co.uk-image-cache-catalog-Products-fruitsalads-new-800x800

According to The Bloke, who generously volunteered to do it for me as long as he chose the music (Thin Lizzy) it’s creamy and easy to apply. Maria kindly gave me a tint brush which made it much easier. It’s left my hair soft, shiny and conditioned, even though we rough dried it to create a grungy texture.

Although I love the colour, I know it’s going to fade too quickly unless I dye it one more time for more depth. I think I’ll just do the top layer myself and then leave it at that.

Chrissie

 

Be More You tee from Bloody Nora Pam

image5

For some reason the online shop Bloody Nora Pam popped up on my Insta feed with a photo of this be more you (£22) tee. I loved the grungy acid wash look and the inspiring slogan to be our true selves.

This tee is perfectly hand printed, great quality and are very generously sized. I got an extra small, even though I’m a 10-12 and if I didn’t have the boobs to fill it out, it would look more like a boyfriend fit. If you need a smaller one, you could always tie a knot at the side.

Screen Shot 2019-05-08 at 15.27.31

I also absolutely loved this Be More Weird tee but seeing as I always wear a hoodie with my tees, you wouldn’t be able to see the slogan, sadly.

The website creator had a brother called Josh who died suddenly of Sepsis and ‘part’ of the profits made from their shop goes to UK Sepsis Trust. It doesn’t specify how much so maybe it varies.

Chrissie

Ben & Jerry’s Vegan Coconutterly Caramel’d Ice Cream

image4

That’s quite a name isn’t it! I absolutely loved those caramel and coconut flavoured Bon Bon’s as a kid, so I was proper chuffed when The Bloke came home with this from Tesco.

image5

The two main flavours were perfectly balanced and the added chocolate chunks were huge! I didn’t notice the cookie content so I wished there were some little caramel chunks in there as well as it being swirled through, instead.

image6

You would never know that this is vegan ice cream and the flavour of the almond milk it’s made with isn’t noticeable.

Rating 4/5

Chrissie

The Body Shop, Shea Butter Richly Replenishing Conditioner

Made from Community Trade Shea Butter from Ghana Shea Butter Richly Replenishing Conditioner (£6.50, 250ml) promises to leave hair nourished, less prone to breakage and less frizzy.

image11

I have thick, coarse shoulder length hair which is excellent condition but looses it’s natural oils easily, even after using very gentle, natural shampoo.

I like the mild nutty scent and how creamy this conditioner is. My hair was left feeling incredibly soft and replenished. It was still a little frizzy but then I would never expect conditioner alone to sort this out. I always need to add hair oil after lightly towel drying my hair, no matter what conditioner I use.

The only problem for me is the size and the price, it’s either too small or too expensive. I can appreciate that the people who produce this in Ghana need a fair wage but maybe The Body Shop could take a little less profit? I don’t know but what I do know is that it’s too dear for me to use regularly with my thick long hair, even though a little does go a long way.

Rating 4/5

Chrissie